


Not Alone

by Proskenion



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I mean it's song inspired, Memories, Past Abuse, Post-Series, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to David Bowie, Song Lyrics, Theonsa - Freeform, the song is rock'n'roll suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 11:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17918369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/pseuds/Proskenion
Summary: Post-Canon short Theonsa one-shot where Theon and Sansa help each other through the pain of old shared memories.





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SelkieWife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelkieWife/gifts).



> Hello my darlings !  
> I was in desperate needs of Theonsa and I've been playing Rock'n'roll Suicide by David on repeat since last Friday and this happened. I really hope you'll love it.  
> As always I tried my best to track any possibles mistakes but there are probably still a handful of them, and I'm sorry.
> 
> SelkieWife this is for you because I know how you love Theonsa too, and I hope you'll love it and that it will somehow make your day better :') Love you xoxo

_Oh no love, you're not alone_  
No matter what or who you’ve been  
No matter when or where you’ve seen  
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain  
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain  
You’re not alone 

***

At times Theon would spend hours looking out of the window, looking outside through his own reflection, without moving and without talking. Sansa respected those phases patiently, well aware of the storm occuring under the calm surface. She knew those storms, too. She always wondered, though, if Theon was actually looking at his own image on the glass, at the nature beyond, or at something even farer only him could see. Maybe was he looking at those three possibilities all at once.

In the end she would always come near him and wait for him to acknowledge her presence. When he would eventually do, she would see the shift in his inner thoughts inside his eyes. He would turn to her and smile slightly, sweetly, though with no joy. ‘Do you want some food ?’ she would ask.

‘No, I’m not angry,’ was usually his answer. And Sansa wouldn’t insist, because she knew how hard it could be to force the food down at times, too. ‘I keep seeing myself everywhere,’ Theon said one of those nights, ‘in every window glasses, every mirrors. Then I realise that, most of the time, it’s not me I see, but all the things I’ve been, all the things I could have been and never will be, and all the things I still could be. I hate this. I hate –’ 

‘You’re being unfair with yourself,’ Sansa interrupted softly, ‘you’re being too harsh.’ She knew how it worked, though. She knew that there will be times where guilt and shame and self-loathing would always find way to crawl back in, no matter how far they’ve been, both of them, together. She came beside him and took his hand in hers, intertwining her fingers with his and squeezing softly in a way that meant everything for Theon. In a way that meant none of them were alone anymore, and never will be again, because they had each other, and they knew. 

‘What you are is enough,’ Sansa whispered, as they both watched at their reflection in the glass. 

At times Sansa would find it hard to sleep at nights. Theon would always be with her in this, as he barely could sleep too. Most of the time they would stay silent, lying side by side on the bed, holding hands. Sometimes Theon would carress her arm or hair softly until she falls asleep, sometimes even kissing her sweetly on the cheek or her shoudler. Rarely, he would hum something. ‘Do you ever feel like you’ve lived too long ?’ Sansa asked one of those unrestful nights. ‘Yes,’ Theon answered in a breath, ‘yes, I do.’ 

‘There are times when it almost becomes physically painful,’ she said, staring at the ceiling. ‘I can feel it in my body, eating into my bones, in to my soul.’ Theon looked at her and saw all the unshed tears in her eyes. He put his hand on her cheek and softly made her look at him. ‘I know,’ he said, and he smiled, a warming, though slightly sad smile. ‘Oh, Theon,’ she whispered, cuddling up to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. 

Of course the ghosts of the past will never leave them completely. But they went through it and escaped, growing something new and bright inside their hearts. They both had their fair share of torments, but now they had each other to help them with the pain. They were not alone, and they would never be alone again. Because they knew.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! Please tell me your thoughts in the comments :)


End file.
